Mirror

Ugh...
the slow tears racing down my face.
the beautiful melody screaming from Deborah cox voice
the innocent conversation between brother and sister.
The truth spills from her mouth as though she's been waiting for this conversation for a while now.
Mentally I leap into her arms as she tells me the truth and gives the best advice a big sister can give.
Why are transitions so hard?
Whoever said growing up was the best thing to do?
I'm battling a identity crisis, I'm beginning to see me for Reggie.
I allow others to influence me and create a artificial human being that knows no reality.
I've become some comfortable with living with my insecurities that I've learned how to cover them; i.e (fashion, dance, electronics)
The biggest battle of them all is the battle of my sexuality.
I no longer wish to love another man, to sleep with another man, cuddle with another man.
But have i become so comfortable with this lifestyle that I cant let it go.
I'm scared to even think about not doing it because i will feel lost.
It's as though im starting from puberty all over again
Re-Living the high school years, freshman year of coLLege.
"meshia16:if it was really meant for u to be that way then u would be happy with doing so...
meshia16: so u need to get a reality check.
By far the most inspirational words I've heard in a really long time.
It doesn't take expensive metaphors and pronouns to create sensational advice.
The little words is what strikes home.
This transition will be difficult but Im Letting go.
I'm Done. It's about time I started Living for me.
The Question is Where do I go from here??